Saturday, April 23, 2011

Yoga and Stuff.

Some days, I feel like I might be a step closer to living a truly yogic, sutra aligned life.  And other days, like today, I just want an iPad.

When I was in my teens, I used to be a typical zoned out...well...teenager. The moment I got home from school (which, notably, I attended from 7:00am to 6:00pm, including all my rehearsals and extra groups)  I lived to zone out in front of the TV, surf the web for nothing, and claim that I was doing my homework all the while.

After that, a few years into college, I decided to start weaning myself off of my technology dependence, partly to save money, partly to save sanity.  First we (my ex-boyfriend, and now dear friend) and I quit having cable TV, which was fabulous.  No more advertising meant I wanted and "needed" to buy less, which meant I began the process of not comparing my insides to other people's outsides.  Then, we cancelled our internet.  That was hard.  That meant we had to really just be together when we were together, which is a whole other blog post.

Since then, I've fallen madly in love with my partner, who is an extraordinary man.  He also happens to be an IT professional, (the acronym really should be I.[I].T.A.T.T., professional, for "Information [Internet] Technology All The Time") which means that we most definitely require high speed internet at home. He also watches a lot of TV shows online (we both decided against having cable at home) and I have gotten back into them as well.

I admit, parts of this reconnection to the e-world I deeply enjoy, and parts of it make me feel icky.  I was doing so very well without TV shows, and eventually without internet.  I was so productive and sane. I was also quite happy without exposure to so many of the commercials and the subtle (and gross) messages that tell me I am not enough, I don't do enough, and I need more Stuff in my life.

I still try to temper my usage of these tools and treat them as just that: tools.  However, I also appreciate convenience and things that make my life easier.  As an up and coming yoga teacher in the 21st century in perhaps the most competitive market in the world, making myself a visible entity on the internet is an unfortunate but necessary part of my job. I facebook. I tweet. I blog. (I do like blogging, readers!)

Hence, my lust for an iPad.  I won't go into the reasons I want one, as Apple does an excellent job advertising it's product without any help from me.  However, there are many ways it would be useful, from it's abilities as an e-reader to it being the most lightweight form of computer for one who can't carry anything heavier than a few pounds without risking spine reinjury. Plus, oh yes, it's shiny and cool.

Sutra 1.15 says that "When the mind loses desire even for objects [...] it acquires a state of utter (vashikara) desirelessness that is called non-attachment (vairagya)."

The sutras lead you, step by step, to attaining oneness with the universe and connecting with your true self.  On days like today, I realize how utterly far away I am from that goal, and how Earthly bound I truly am.  This realization does make me realize and appreciate my vulnerability and utter humanity.

For today, I choose to both accept myself as I am today as being exactly where I am supposed to be, but also start working on releasing my attachment to objects that will not actually bring me any joy or satisfaction that I can't find in my own self and heart.

But maybe I'll work on that more after I get my iPad.

Have a peaceful week!


No comments:

Post a Comment